My Carson Beckett is back!!
I'm so happy! When that door in Stargate Atlantis opened and he jumped of that cot... I sat in my room clapping my hands. (I LOVE his scottish accent!)
CARSoN IS BACK!!! HE'S BACK!! YAY!
My sister is coming home tomorrow and I'm sad.
Don't get me wrong, I love my sister - when she's not pissing me off - but during this weekend when she's been at her boyfriend she's let me borrow her computer. (My own burned up at the beginning of April - nearly three years old! - and I haven't enough money to buy the computer I want.) I've been whriting like crazy and I've even been able to read my e-mail!
I'm not really sure if I want a "Fujijutsu Simens" or a "Sony Vaio". I don't know which one's the best. The last one I had was a Fujijutsu Simens Amilo and it was comfertable.
What do you all think?
My little brother does no longer live at home.
One of dad's friends live alone with his 13-year-old son. He has now taken in my little brother, 'cus he was driving mom nuts. He hasn't been to school in five weeks and he's been fighting and hurting the younger eight-year-old brother.
Dad's friend said that it'll do my brother some good to work a bit, not getting to sit in front of the TV all day. And dad's friend will make him go to school.
I feel happy not to have him around, 'cus guess who getts hurt when he is in a bad mood? Yeah that right; me. And if I do anything they tell me off, "'cus you're older, you should know better."
Hopefully he wont be back for at least Christmas!
This morning when I woke up my room was trashed. In my sleep I had thrown my clothes out of the closet, taken books out of the shelves and piled them on the floor, and two mug's lay in pieces on the floor.
It's nothing unusual, I can do lots of things in my sleep.
Once when I was sleeping over at a friend, I woke her up twice, once I had laughed, the second time I had sounded like I was out riding a pony or something.
The same friend was with me on a sleepover party once to. She and two other girls were up talking, when I suddenly sat up in my sleeping bag, looked around and then fell back sleeping again.
Once when dad wanted my help with some stuff, we went to grandma' and I needed the tractor with the fork, only thing was that dad needed it first. So I stayed in the car and fell asleep. Next thing I knew I heard dad saying: "There is a car coming." And I was sitting behind the weels of the tractor, dad standing in the doorway, and we are crossing the main road. And a car was coming. I was trying to get the reverse in and dad said: "Just keep going!"
THAT was no fun waking up! But after that at least dad checks twice to make sure I'm really awake and not sleepwalking.
And I can have sensible conversations in my sleep as well. I can promise things, swear thing, lie, you name it I can do it.
When I bought the Sims 2 I had it on my portable computer, if it got too hot, it shut down itself. My younger siblings often played in my bed, and one time the computer shut down on them. They let it cool down a bit and then shook me, I had fallen asleep hours ago. "Sandra, please put in your password."
In my sleep I told them to turn around so they wouldn't see and then quickly wrote the password. I gave them the computer and practicly fell down the bed. They told me about it in the morning, laughing.
No matter how many times I wash my hands, the smell of blood is still there.
I've been sick all week, but who do you think dad calls for when he needs help?
And he suggested that I would go out tomorrow to get one of my own. I might do it. Deer is very good too eat :D
This morning begun like any other: me sleeping to 11.
But then I went out to the busstop and took a bus to Rimbo where I meet my friend Iza, and we went to Täby, where we went shopping, and ate at MCD.
Then we took the train in to Stockholm to see a movie; Resident Evil Extinction.
It was funny :D and I had a wonderfull time. (Even thou the movie was 15 minutes late.)
Mom said she'd pick me up at the bus, I had gotten half-way when she realised that she had forgotten about me. It was cold, but it's not like I'm not being used to be forgotten or anything, I'm just happy she remembered before I had walked the whole way home in pitch-black darkness and cold enough for me to see my own breath (in the dark!)
Finaly at home I ate some food, and casualy asked mom how Ida was doing (she's my grandfather's mother and has been very sick the last couple of days). It was then that I was told that she had died in her sleep during the night.
She did not suffer, and she had lived a full life. She was born before the Titanic sunk, and died today at 2. She became 95 years and will be missed by her family and her friends.
This day started out quite great; my parents was gone with one of my brothers. I had the whole house for my self. And one little-sister was sitting in the living room with a computer, a brother playing video games, and a second sister was doing god knows what.
It was quiet.
Then they came home. Daddy said he'd buy us pizza, all we had to do was choose witch one we'd want. Everyone had chosen one when my oldest little brother said there was nothing good and left the room, screaming something. Then he bagan fighting with everyone, throwing things. He threw a golf ball at me! I was lucky enough to duck, but those things are deadly! And mom says that I deep within actually likes (she uses the word love) him. I have yet to tell her that hate him and that we should change his name to Lucifer. It is much more appropriate.
Now mom's making meatballs with smashed potato. Am I hungry? No. I'm only sad, and angry at my brother. He's running around screaming that he'll make our life a hell, never bee nice to us etc etc. He is a psyco.
That's nothing new. I already is in hell.
Yes it has, and I wan't my winter back. I want cold, snow and darkness.
I'm bored. I'm making dinner at the moment. Rice, meat and some hocuspocus; that's carrots, onion and broccoli mixed together. It's the only way to make the little ones eat vegetables.
And I've got a headache the size of mount Everest, and non of my pills are working!
Okay, I'm back! That wasn't funny but you just have to cope with it.
I have started with my pills again, my doctor say's it's best for me. But what about me? What does I say is best for me?
I'm tired. Not tired, but TIRED. Nothing is fun anymore and I feel guilty having these emotions, that is when I have emotions, mostly I don't feel anything.
Haven't been to school in over two weeks now. I know I have to go back, but I'm to tired to care. I don't even know why I had chosen this class, not anymore. I asked mom and she said it was because I like to cook, but not even that is fun anymore. Why can't I be normal? Why do I have to be weird and strange? What will become of me?
My sister - one of them at least - say that those that take suicide is selfish people that doesn't think of anyone accept them self. I think that when people come to the stage when they try to kill them self, they don't care about anything, that is why they do it. They have nothing to care about, and nothing that cares about them.
My cat is sick at the moment and I'm scared to leave her home alone with my family. I'm certain that I will come home and she will be gone. That's what has happen before. I had two kittens when I was a kid, I loved those two. One day I came home from school and they where gone. Mom and dad had given them away. I never saw them again. One cat - Rulle - liked being out, she could stay away from home for days, but then I asked mom where she was and mom just: Oh her. We had to send her to the vet. She had to be put to sleep.
And when was this?
About two weeks ago.
My brother had a cat, I saw daddy shoot it. Now he thinks that the cat ran away or has died in the cold, because we haven't told him the truth.
Is that what has happen to my other two cats as well? Mom said they probably ran away. I don't dare ask her. What if they have killed them? I imagine that they have found a new home where they are living a golden life.
This cat is special to me. She will turn ten this year and I have had her since she was eight weeks old. When she came I didn't treat her like she was a cat, but a baby, and I love her like she was my daughter. I did tell I was weird, didn't I? And she loves me, when I'm sad she comforts me, and when I sleep she is beside me, now and then stretching out a paw to touch me and making shore that I'm still there and breathing.